Self Worth

Okay so after missing about three of my oh-so-important Orthodontics appointments I thought, Hey, maybe I really should go this time. So the decision was made right then and there that I was going to ACTUALLY GO to my next appointment. Little did I know that it would be much harder than I had originally anticipated.

So first, I called my dad and arranged to meet him halfway. By halfway, I mean of course that we (Seth, Melinda, and myself) meet my dad somewhere between His-House and Our-house. Duh. So after the three of us got off work we went back home and hung out for about an hour. When that was over I called my dad and we (both of us, or I should say, all four of us, with both of our cars, all two of the cars anyway...I don't know. It really isn't that confusing. Anyway-) began or long journey to meet in the middle.

During the long, and boring, and dark, and long, and boring, and dark drive we had to find means of entertainment. Of course, for how can one survive when one is not being entertained right? So Seth pulled out his ipod-touch and we played a round of Mancala. It was fun and all, very short, easy win, easy lose. The ipod pretty much did everything for you, all you had to do was poke the slot and it emptied it for you. Anyway, when that was over Seth let me play a few rounds by myself (meaning me vs the computer I wasn't about to play against myself). Well, that was even faster, and a much easier win. ..Did you catch that I didn't say "easier lose"? Want to know why I didn't say that? Of course you do. It wasn't an easy lose, because one CANNOT lose. It was funny actually. At first I was really trying to win and I was so pleased with myself and getting a big head, but then after about the fifth win I got curious. What would happen if I played at random? -If I didn't try? So I did, I played the worst moves I could through the entire game and guess what?! I still didn't lose!

Well that was a drag. But surprisingly still fun. I like it when my mind exceeds that of something so technical. I feel so accomplished, but I can tell you know that it doesn't happen very often. After that game we hit the drive-thru at Wendy's and then stopped for gas and what not. (What does that term mean anyway "what not"? hmmm... I'll have to look it up. Hey! maybe I can even blog about it later!)

We arrived "In the Middle" at around eight-ish, eight-thirty, take your pick. And then after talking a bit and standing out in the freezing cold we split and went our separate ways. But of course this time I went with my dad and Seth and Melinda were short one passenger. But thats okay. For the ride home me and my dad talked and he told me some bad news, (but thats...another blog), and then some good (or, I think he did, maybe not). Anyway after driving for what seemed to be forever (Did it seem like forever to you Melinda? I thought so, but maybe it was the weight of my bad news what made it feel so stinkin' long) we stopped by my Grandparents house and got a few things taken care of and then we went home and yada, yada, the rest is really boring and it's been a while so, I don't really remember anyway. But who cares?....

Okay, so the drive. At one-thirty-ish me and my grandma started for Arkansas and on the way we stopped at ----name withheld--- (He's the guy that's working on my broken Malibu. He's old. Soon to be retired. Not the best choice if you want your car done fast, but still, he's cheap.) Anyway, he gave me the painstaking new that my car would not be done by the deadline of tonight and he pretty much just said "Fat Chance", mind you he did it in a nicer, caring way than how I just said. Still he could have bolted it into my head with a hammer and it still would have produced the same result. I was crushed. Boy let me tell ya, the ride up to Arkansas was not a fun one. It was worse on the way back because I couldn't talk, but I'm getting ahead of myself...

Okay, so the appointment. It really was no surprise that it took all of twenty minutes. I got there about ten minutes before my scheduled time, so they just shoved me through the door, tightened and renewed my bands, and then gave me something to wear called Rubber Bands.

-Rubber-Band: noun; a narrow, circular or oblong band of rubber, used for holding things together, as papers or a box and its lid. Also, tiny little rubber things that seal your mouth completely shut -they hurt immensely and should never be worn unless instructed. They are very small and often times colored, but don't let that discourage you, if you should swallow or lose them don't fret, just call and your dentist should send you more.-

Anyway, we drove for like two and a half hours for a twenty minute appointment. Crazy hu? I sure thought so. I mean it's like buying a book on Amazon and having it be sixty cents but the shipping and handling is like five dollars. I mean what's up with that?

So now, on our way home I had the opportunity to simply sit and listen as my Grandma pulled off a one-on-one conversation. -Remember how I said that I couldn't talk on the way home? Yeah, that's why. I blame the rubber bands 99.9%. (The other 1% is because of my personal issue of not having my car. You gotta understand I was really depressed about that! I think I had a right to be at least 1% mute because of it. I mean, right?)

So anyway, I dropped my Grandma off at her house and then drove next door to my parents. I pulled into the driveway and turned off the car. I sat there for a long while, just thinking -or not thinking (has you're mind ever been so full that you felt as if you could no longer think? -Wait. That doesn't really make sense. But it happens I guess. At least, it did to me.) Anyway, to cut a long boring story short -my sister Jessica came and sat next to be in the car. We passed a few hushed words and then she told me that our other sister, Mariah, needed to be picked up from the school. (She had stayed after and now needed a ride home.) After permission of course, Jessica and I drove to Home-City and went to the school to retrive my sister. (And Jessica is shoe-less this whole time, so just keep that in mind, it makes the story a little bit humerous.)

Anyway, we (or I should say "I", Jessica wasn't about to go running the parking lot with nothing but socks to cover her feet!) looked everywhere for Mariah and couldn't find her, so I went to the Elementry and asked a teacher where she might be. Yada, yada, I called my parents and they told me that they'd already picked her up, yada, yada. So yeah. Jessica and I just went home and had a fun little chat. Well actually, it wasn't that fun. I was so dredfully tired and driving the Buick wasn't any fun because its such a massive car!

That evening around seven-ish, my dad drove me to the Half-way marker again and I acted as the torch being passed from one athlete to the other. Oh! Actually-! We changed the meeting place to a small town called Horton. (You know, like the elephant?) Well, come to think of it, I'm not even sure it was a town. But it was funny -right in the middle of nowhere. We just pulled to the side of the road in what looked like a want-to-be paved ditch or something. Oh, but the view was amazing! I've never seen so many stars! I would have enjoyed it more, however, were I wearing some heavier coat. By-Golly it was freezing! But then it wasn't too much fun, either. I was tired. My dad was tired. And I'm sure that both Seth and Melinda were tired as well. Not to mention the cars themselves being tired. But it was all good. Everything worked out just as planned.

Right now I am sure you are wondering something along the lines of "Okay, so why did she write out this long and boring post?" The reason I wrote this perticular post was to ask a question, or simply, I suppose, to state a thought: Why? Why did so many people go through all that trouble for one person? All that trouble so that one little girl's mouth could hurt for the next two weeks. All that trouble for one little girl. I mean it's weird that it should work that way. Weird to think that just one person could be worth so much. I personally thought that I was among the farthest things from "worth it". But it happened. And it needed to happen.

To think that in so many instances we realize our worth and simply push it away. It is amazing to me that far too often, even after we've been told our worth countelss times, we can still chose not to belive. That we can still diminish ourselves in such a way that we become, in others eyes, of seemingly less worth. A famous American Poet once said "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what liest within us." ...My prayer for you today, is simply that you believe it. Always remember that "You are Worth it!"