I need to vent....

I opened Subway yesterday. I got there at seven and made all the bread and got the bain all fixed up and everything. Yeah, long day. So anyway, when my boss came in he was all stressed that labor was too high and yada yada yada. The first thing he said to me was and in a very polite voice, "You can leave early if you want. But only if you want."

Naturally, when my boss says I can go home early, especially since I was scheduled late, I get excited. But then I remembered something. We have our truck today. (For those who haven't been in the work field of food or who haven't been there in a long time, the term "truck" means that we have our shipment of food coming in and it means that we need a person to check of the shipments and put the food away. It's a really long process, what with putting all those heavy boxes on really high shelves and trying to decipher all the unnecessary blabber on the list {i.e. 19748929D023HAM}. So anyway, I reminded my boss about the truck. "So you want So-and-so (the other employee who was here 'till four) to be here by himself to put the truck away?" ...My boss' expression became all glazed and he said that I should stay. "So...you want me here 'til four?" I was so confused. But he said Yes. So, I stayed.

I worked, came home, and due to other goings on that had nothing to do with work (aside form having that horrible stench of sandwiches), I had a hard evening yesterday. Mostly just emotions going haywire, but it wasn't really too horrid... okay, no, it was bad. I was starting to get all clutsy and I spilled a fill glass of milk at dinner and I was knocking everything over... Oh man, it was bad. I just wanted to cry or disappear or something. Anyway. I went to bed at like eight because I was exhausted and I thought I would be less destructive if I just went to sleep. ...I woke up a lot during the night, though. At one in the morning I thought that maybe my body had already gotten enough sleep but then I was like No, that can't be right I thought teens needed a full eight or nine hours of sleep and, of course, it had only been five. So I went back to sleep. Got up at two, then three-forty-something, then six-thirty and then seven-thirty and then, at eight o-clock, I got a phone call.

I jumped out of bed and rushed over to my purse and extracted my cell phone. On the cover it read "My Boss." Ungh. A phone call from my boss...on Sunday. That can't be good. Oh no, it wasn't good.

"Okay, so you have two choices," My boss said in that perky sort of voices some peole get when they're really angry. "We can make this go away or I can give you the paddle." (Okay, so he didn't use those words exactly, but that's basically how he meant it.)

I was not happy. He explained that he had told me to go home at two, but that I had disobeyed him and stayed until four anyway. I was really not happy. "You told me to stay 'till four," I said, and then he explained, rather rudely, that he could take those hours off or that I could just get written up. I was mad. I wanted to argue. And I'm sad to say that I also wanted to yell at him. (I'd like to blame that bit on my half asleep brain.) I'm not usually a yelling person. I rarely feel the need or even desire to raise my voice. Until today really, I didn't know how I got when I was angry. Don't get me wrong, I've been angry before, this was just the only time I was actually analyzing my reaction.

I was frustrated and I guess I did yell (not like top-of-my-lungs or anything, but it was definetely louder than how I usually talk) I also slammed a few doors, unintentionally, and I tried really hard not to let it get to me, but I was hopeless. I had gotten in trouble. I was written up. I chose not to argue, because I didn't want to loose my job. I didn't want to be angry. I hate being angry. I also hate being in trouble. I felt really bad.

It almost feels like a detention, only, instead of have the consequence of staying after school you get this mark on your record. I don't know the details exactly because, obviously, I've never been written up before. I almost feel like a failure. But my boss told me to stay until four. I was scheduled 'til four.

Yeah. I guess that's it. I'm done. I just needed to get that off my chest. I don't like to complain, but this time I felt like I needed to...