Be Nice. I Gave Blood.

...Whoa. Giving blood was actually a lot harder than I thought it would be. Well, harder and yet just what I expected. Only I didn't expect...well, let me start at the beginning.

A few weeks ago, while I was headed to class, I spotted a sign on one of the doors that asked the students to come down and donate blood on the seventeenth of this month. I had never given blood before and really wanted too. It would be an exciting adventure. Plus I'd get to find out my blood type. I don't know why, but I'm very curious to know. So, I signed up to give blood at eleven o'clock on Tuesday morning -today.

It started at Breakfast. It's really hard for me to eat when I'm nervous. And today I was WAY nervous! I had never given blood before and I hate needles. So, I ate what my body could take. Two pop-tarts. And that was even pushing it. I actually felt really full, stuffed. I went to school as usual and then afterwards at eleven o'clock I made my way to the campus center for the Private Dinning Room. I found the room with relatively few directions and walked inside. I guess it was what I had expected. There were three hospital beds and a lot of people in scrubs. I was looking around the room when the lady at the desk asked what I was doing. "Well," I said as excitedly as I could manage -something like reverse psychology I think- pretend to be excited and you will be, something like that. Anyway it didn't work. I was shaking like crazy! "I'm here to give blood!"

The lady raised an eyebrow at my excitement. "Have you ever given blood before?"

"Nope!" I said smiling. I knew by the look on her face that I was in for something that I obviously had very little knowledge of. I frowned at her expression. "Is it that bad?"

"No. It's just that I could tell that you've never donated before."

Well, that was reassuring. Anyway, she asked me a lot of questions and I had to fill out a sheet of information. After that I was taken aside to "discuss" what was on the paper. I read over the 'educational' part of what they do with the blood after. They test if for lots of things, and half of them I hadn't the slightest idea what they were. But anyway. She pricked my finger, which didn't hurt a bit by the way, and slipped the blood covered slide into a thermometer like thing that records the hemoglobin, then she checked my pulse, my temperature, and my blood pressure. That part was all fine.

After that they made me drink some water and eat some cookies. I really didn't want to, my stomach was having trouble as it was with all those butterflies or whatever, but I made them happy. I practically chugged a full 17oz bottle of water and nearly swallowed two oreos whole. Then it was straight for the chair. That was the part where I got REALLY nervous. I sat in the chair and one of the doctors introduced himself to me and I to him. His name was Ty. Anyway, after the intro he used my legs as a desk and spread my papers across them so that he could easily read them while he worked. I could see that the papers were shaking and was glad that he didn't notice.

Oh! One more thing. A few months ago I discovered these rashes that had developed on both of my inner-elbows. I didn't think much of them at first, small dime size rashes didn't mean anything to me. But after a while they started to grow. Now they are each about the size of two half dollar coins. The doctors were all a little concerned about it. They didn't want to stick me where the rashes were and for a while it looked like I wasn't going to able to give blood at all. As much as that would have helped my nervous, not having to do this, I wanted to. I wanted to help. So, after insisting that they didn't hurt and that everything would be okay, they went ahead and let me donate.

Back to the story, he, Ty, wrapped a band around my arm and wiped a ton of alcohol on my left arm. After that he warned me that he was now going to insert the needle and that it was okay if I looked away. "No," I said wanting nothing more than to look away and shut my eyes, "I'll watch." So, I watched. Well, sort of. He found the vain and pressed the needle into my skin. The pinch didn't bother me as much as actually watching the big needle disappear into my skin. Despite myself, I looked away. I watched it go into my skin though. I was determined to watch. I promised myself that I would, I wanted to be tough!

Well, after that it was all down hill. For the most part. Or at least, I thought it was. He had me squeeze a small orange ball over and over again. I could feel the warm blood against my skin, separated by a small plastic tube. The blood was dark and I was surprised that I didn't fell any different. Ty kept asking if I was okay and I kept reassuring him that I was. Ha, I was nervous for this? I couldn't even feel it!

"Well, if you start feeling nauseous or light headed just let me know, alright?"

I nodded, sure that I wasn't going to have to tell him anything. I felt fine. Really. I watched the blood slowly fill up the one pint bag all the while squeezing the small orange ball. Squeeze, release. Squeeze release. I kept at the constant pattern and listened to the conversation around me. The doctors were hilarious, telling all these stories and just having a good time. When I was eating, a song came on the radio and one of the ladies thought it was really funny. The song was "Bleeding Love" preformed by Leona Lewis and the lady -I never did catch her name- started singing along. "I Keep bleeding! I keep, keep, bleeding!" Anyway, it was really funny, but I guess it was something you'd have to actually see in order to fully appreciate.

Squeeze, release. Squeeze, release. This is okay. Squeeze, release. Squeeze, release. I still feel fine. Squeeze, release. Squeeze, release. I could do this forever! Squeeze, release. Squeeze, release. ...And then it happened. I could feel the blood rush from my head and the room started spinning. The voices in the background now sounded very distant. My eyes were open, but everything was getting dark. Nothing was in focus anymore. My head spun and my body stared shaking.

"Ty, I'm feeling light headed." My voice was quiet and he didn't' hear. For a second I thought I could ignore the pain. I could pull through. He didn't have to know anything was wrong. I could ignore it. ...no. The second wave of nausea made it hard to think. ...the pain was overwhelming. "Ty!" He looked at me then when I forced the words to come out again. I couldn't do it anymore. I wanted to get out. "I'm felling light headed."

...and then immediately ...they were everywhere. I could see the tops of their heads as the chair under me suddenly became a bed. I could see them, see their mouths moving, but I couldn't hear anything. I struggled to even keep my eyes open at this point. I felt my legs being lifted and then the sting as they placed cold rags against my skin. One on my forehead, one on my neck, and then one on my stomach. I wanted to disappear, to close my eyes and never open them. It was hard to see anyway, it wouldn't hurt if I closed my them...

"Keep your eyes open!" Someone said as I started to drift. "Stay with us!"

...It wasn't a big deal, I guess, in the long run. The doctors said that this sort of thing happens all the time. ...Still. It scared me. I donated the minimum amount of blood that day. Four hundred fifty milliliters. The max, the usual, is five hundred. I was nearly a hundred away when I started feeling light headed. I still had a long way to go. I squeezed and released starting to really detest the small orange ball in my hands. ...it was hard to finish. But I did. Everyone in the room at that point knew my name. "It's okay, Julia, your doing great." "You're almost there, Julia." "How you doin' Julia, feeling alright?" I felt embarrassed.

I squeezed faster wanting this to be over as soon as possible. The lady who had first asked me questions nearly jumped across the bed to rip the ball out of my hands. "She's squeezing too fast!" The ladies arm was stretched across the bed toward Ty who was monitoring the amount of blood I was giving.

Ty looked at me then with worried eyes. "Slow down, honey. Hold it for five counts and then release for five." He held out his hand and squeezed an imaginary ball to show me what to do. It was hard. I didn't want to squeeze anymore. I wanted my blood to stay where it was. I let my eyes focus on the sealing as I counted. One, two, three, four, five -release. One, two, three, four, five -squeeze... After a few minutes the lady asked if I was still "here". She was afraid that I was losing focus again. I looked at her to let her know that I was fine, and nodded.

I was glad when the numbers finally read four hundred fifty. I wanted to go home. I wanted to burn the small orange ball. I wanted to rip the needle out of my arm and dart out of the room. But I didn't. ...I didn't say much of anything after that. The doctors made me lie on the bed for an extra half hour, shoving drink after drink of Tropicana orange juice at me. I unwillingly drank three glasses. By that time I was sitting up in the chair with my legs over the side. I watched as the man in the bed next to me got up, drank a glass of juice, grabbed a bag of cookies and left. He had been in here for about ten minutes, total. I, on the other hand, had been in here for over eighty. And still counting.

"Well, your lips look pink again," the lady informed me as she walked by the room to get a glass of water for one of the patients.

"...What color were they before?" I asked, curious.

"White," the doctor said. "Like a ghost. Pasty, Casper, white." ....Ugh.

"Next time, remember to eat something heavy, like eggs and bacon. Eat a good breakfast as well as a good dinner the night before and don't forget to drink a lot of water." ...Yeah, I would definetely remember that one. There was no way I was going to go through this again without having something more in my stomach...

I waited for the head doctor to give me the okay to leave, but only after I had finished off another glass of orange juice. He said it would make him feel better if I did. After that I was free to leave. As I walked out of the door the doctors all said goodbye to me, by name, and thanked me for coming down. I was glad to finally leave. I feel fine now, for the most part. My stomach is empty and I feel very tired.

I got a sticker. It reads "Be nice to me I gave blood today." Yup. That's definitely going into my journal.