Uncommon.

It will always be easy to do what you've always done. It's doing what you've never done before that gives spice to life. We all have our comfort zones. I have mine and you have yours. I for one hate sleeping in any bed but my own. I don't like going where there are crowds of people. I'd prefer hanging out with two or three of my closest friends. But if there's one thing I've learned over the years it's this: It isn't the usual things that leave marks in our memory. It's the unusual things that we look back on and remember. When we are uncomfortable or scared out of our mind or outrageously happy, those are the times we remember most. When we do the same things all the time, life just sort of blurs together. Time has no meaning. ..George Washington Carver once said, "When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way you will command the attention of the world." And as Mrs. Frizzle used to say, "Take chances. Make mistakes. And get messy."

Poetry for Breakfast.

I watched a movie last week called "Cyrano de Bergerac." It's a French story about this sword fighter slash poet, who also happens to have an abnormally large nose. He's in love with Roxanne and Roxanne is in love with this pretty boy named Christian. Roxanne is the type of girl who drinks poetry for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And Christian is the type of boy who is couldn't write a verse if the entire universe depended on it. And Cyrano, like Roxanne, loves poetry. So, as the story goes, Cyrano writes letters to Roxanne, upon her request, and pretends to be Christian. Christian is the face and Cyrano is the soul.

Anyway, as I was watching the movie I kept thinking to myself, Gosh, this girl is insane. Here he is going off to battle and all she can think of is that he risks his life to write her love letters. Here he is standing under her balcony and all she wants from him is poetry. Don't talk about yourself, don't kiss me or even touch me, just stand there in the rain and tell me how much you love me. I mean, seriously? How shallow! But then I thought. ...I am exactly like her.

Feed me poetry and I shall devote myself to you. Write me verses and I am yours. ..Well, maybe I'm not exactly like her, but I'm pretty dang close. I love words. I love words that flow and paint beautiful pictures. If a guy recited verses to me I'd be smitten. Wholeheartedly. Give me Keats, tell me Shakespeare, read me Ingersoll, Browning, Goncourt, Byron..

So, is that a girl thing or just a Julia thing?

I Am.

I was challenged by a friend this week to write a list of twenty "I Am" statements. We were talking about how a person knows when they have discovered who they are and how they know. I guess the question was: If you feel like who know who you are and who you want to be, but people tell you that you need to 'find yourself' how do you do that? I mean, if you already feel like you know yourself? Anyways, this is my list. You should try it!

I am a daughter.
I am a sister.
I am a friend.
I am a student.
I am a teacher.

I am a writer
I am a worrywart.
I am a decent cook.
I am a perfectionist.
I am a lover of literature.

I am an observer.
I am imaginative.
I am considerate.
I am intelligent.
I am reserved.

I am loyal.
I am caring.
I am dedicated.
I am thoughtful.
I am hardworking.

How Do You Do It???

Holy Cabooses! Work today was crazy! I was on my feet the ENTIRE day, non-stop, constantly cleaning this doohickey or that thingamajigger; holding at least one of the children (yes, there was a point when I was holing two of them); rebuking him or her for this or that; running around outside trying to keep an eye on all the kids at once; saving the cat from the kids; saving the kids from said cat; saving the baby chickens from death by four-year-olds; rounding up the kids for dinner; helping the kids eat their dinner; cleaning up after dinner, putting them to bed... Anyways, I'm sure you get the idea. Today was just super busy!

Since I started this job I have found that my patience level is really being tried. I used to think of myself as a patient person but now... Wow. Having one child practicing the piano, while another is learning Latin, and the rest of them are running around crashing little strollers into each other as well as the furniture is really starting to wear me out. I actually cheated in Candy Land the other day just to get the game finished quicker because I didn't have the patience for it. And today, one of the kids was constantly following me around, asking me questions and repeating them every eighth of a second. I mean, ...HOLY COW!

Mothers... how do you DO it??? How do you have the energy? Or the strength to do this ALL THE TIME?? Did your energy level just suddenly change when you had kids? Did you gain more strength and suddenly find yourself with an abundance of patience? I mean, I know it's different watching nine kids who are mostly all the same age, but still. Is it different when they're your own kids? Does it make it easier? ..This whole job has made me think twice about having kids. Not that I wouldn't have kids, it's just, I don't know if I should go to boot camp or something before having any. I mean, ...whoow!

Speaking of Kids..

I've learned something about myself over the past few years of working in the Primary.. I learned that when a parent drops a child off for class and informs the teacher (aka me) that the child is sick with this, that, or the other, ..every time, without fail, I immediately feel sick. For instance, when the parent says, "Be careful. He has a stomach ache." Immediately my response is always, "Oh. I feel sick." (..Well, of course I don't inform that parents of my sudden change in health. That would be bad) But it's the weirdest thing. I've never been one to react well to illness in the first place though, so I guess it isn't that surprising. I have a feeling I'm gonna be one of those moms who makes her husband do all the sick work (literally) of taking care of our sick children. Oh well.

I've also learned a lot of things with my new job of watching seven kids (most under the age of four) that I'm sure will help me out when I have kids of my own. One of the first things I learned was that each child is different, sometimes they're subtle differences and sometimes they're drastic differences. But each of them is different. You learn which child likes to throw their food on the floor, which child likes to climb into the tub AFTER they've already been washed and dressed, which child likes to run around commando after the wet clothes have been removed, which child has a tendency of lying about whether they're the culprit of the poopy diaper, which children like to play outside, which child likes to hide out under the couch, which child likes to draw rodents on the wall, which children like movies (and by like I mean glued-to-the-screen-to-the-point-where-Armageddon-could-arrive-and-they-still-wouldn't-stop-watching kind of like) and which ones don't. Period. You learn who likes to whine, who likes to pout, and who just likes to flail around the room as if the world was going to end at any second. ...You learn who loves to give hugs. You learn who loves to trust you to catch them when they decide to jump off the edge of a couch. You learn who loves story time. You learn who loves to be tucked in. You learn that each of them show their love differently. You learn that each of them love you, really love you, even though they know so little about you.

I guess all I'm trying to say is, kids are amazing. Sometimes they can be a pain, but they're always worth it. They're hilarious, lovable, chuck full of energy, witty (though sometimes the wit of a three year old is a bit ...simpler than that of an adult, but still). Anyways, I guess that's all I'm trying to say. ..Oh, and I guess that I have a weak stomach too. But anyways.

Update.

I probably shouldn't be writing right now, due to the temperamental mood that I am currently in, but I feel like writing. Though I fear that this state plus my desire to write adds up to a very dull post. So, I apologize for that. But anyways...

I started work on Tuesday. I work for a family in my ward by helping them tend their kids and a few foster kids that they've taken in temporarily. I think my official label is: Helper. (At least that's what I was told today.) My younger sister Jessica works the morning shift and I work the evening shift. It gets kind of confusing for the kids that Jessica and I are sisters and that we both do the same thing and that we both look similar. I quite often get called Jessica at least twenty times a day. It doesn't really bother me, but I pretend it does. It's more fun that way. "Jessica??" I'd say, squishing up my face as if I was utterly repulsed by the name, "My name is not Jessica!" And the kids would always quickly remember that I was actually Julia and not Jessica. Today I resolved aloud that I was going to change my name to Jessica and the mother of the family (who is also called Jessica) said "No! You can't do that! There are too many Jessica's and it would be even MORE confusing!" ..I guess she's right, but then again, no one would have trouble remembering names. But, regardless, I think I'll just stick with Julia.

Work has been well. And when I'm not working I'm either reminiscing over all twenty-five gigabytes of pictures I have on my computer, or reading a book that someone recommended, or watching a movie that reminds me of someone I miss for whatever reason. ...I feel like I'm in this state of despondency and I'm putting myself there and I'm not exactly sure how to get myself out again. Anyways. I'm trying to think of another subject to write about besides this one and nothing is coming to my head... Hmm.. Think.. Think..

Uh. Nope. I got nothing. My job is basically my life right now. Or, at least, the part of my life worth blogging about. So yeah. Work is going good. End of update.

Don't Worry.

"It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. ...I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us... If we put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live our lives worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers." GORDON B. HINCKLEY

GRR!!!

Yes. That is the sound of jealousy. Pure jealousy. Want to know why?? BECAUSE I MISS REXBURG!!!!

All of my Idaho friends are saying how much they LOVE and MISSED Rexburg and about how EXCITED they are to be back for the Fall Semester. ..The unfortunate thing is that I'm stinking off-track in the Fall. And I REALLY miss it there. I miss being surrounded by members of the Church. I miss going to school and yes, I even miss taking tests and doing homework. I miss my roommates. I miss my friends. I miss working. I miss having a set schedule. And yes, I miss the cold too and the overall bizarre weather of Idaho. GAAAAAHHHH!!!

I suppose it doesn't help that I haven't started work yet, that my car is in the shop, that I'm currently listening to a sad song, and that I'm basically ALONE all day as it is! I mean, WHAT DO I DO WITH MYSELF?!? Any ideas besides just watching movies and reading books? ...I could ..clean. But that only takes so long. I could ...do ...something. Gaahh. ...Help!

My Last Two Years...

I got this in the mail the other day and I know it's just two years and I still have two more to go, but still. I am SUPER excited! It was sent to my parents house and I had to show everyone. My mom took me to Wal-Mart that night and bought me the coolest frame! Anyways, just thought I'd share!

Blue.

A good friend once asked me, "Have you ever felt so emotional that a tree could fall and you would cry?"

Unfortunately, I have felt that way. In fact, I feel a little embarrassed to say it, but I feel that way right now. I have all week. And I'm not sure what to do about it. I constantly have to remind myself that the world is going to keep spinning, that there are people out there who love me and that ice-cream will always exist.

I don't mean to make this a pity-me post and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and I definitely don't want you to worry about me. I'll be fine. This is just something I'm going through right now.

I've gotten into this weird habit where I'm listening to all this sad music and reading books about sad people because that's the only thing I'm in the mood for. I have to really put forth the effort to be happy. ...I don't really know why I'm telling you this. Maybe it's just because I wanted to write or that I enjoyed that quote.

I've learned over the years that I'm the type of person who can be in the best mood in the world, but when someone says something harsh to me, my good mood is totally shot and I'm miserable for the longest time. I take things personally. And that's an understatement. So, if you will allow, I'd like to pose a question to you... How do I keep myself, or how do YOU keep yourself from taking every little thing personally? And how do you fix a sad mood? What do you do to make yourself feel better? Heaven knows I could use a little help with this...